dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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