what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize