I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
