he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
