There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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