I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
