so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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