Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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