herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
