The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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