U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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