i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
