he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
