I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
