I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
