Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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