we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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