my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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