just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm having to shit out rocks
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