Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
