Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
