Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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