I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
