Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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