I wannas sexs uuuuu
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
