Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
