Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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