Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We are all done wearing pants today
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
