I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
