Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
