You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
