My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
