speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
