I wish i was in the wii world.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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