just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize