He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
