The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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