im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
