It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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