No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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