in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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