She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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