Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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