I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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