Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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