I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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