i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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