The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
