and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize