Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
