Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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