the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
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I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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