I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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