so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
