Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
