If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
