he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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