No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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