That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
