At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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