I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
