Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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