the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
