Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The ass gains better be worth it
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