I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
