When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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